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Friday, October 21, 2022

Rating every Scott the Woz special - Polybius

    So let me start this by saying that the "rating every Scott the Woz special" thing will not be in chronological order. Throughout the rest of October and then November, I'll be rating every Halloween special in order. Over the course of December, I'll be ranking all of the Christmas specials in order. After that, I'll rank every "miscellaneous" special (think of things like Borderline Forever, Dark Age of Nintendo, etc.) and the like. Anyway, I'll be starting this with a review of Episode 43: Polybius (2017).

    I do thoroughly appreciate the fact that saying "Happy Independence! I would have said day, but I'm such a busy guy." takes more time than just saying "Happy Independence Day!" Scott carving a watermelon in preparation for Halloween on July 4th is also probably the best gag of Season 1 in my opinion. (this may change with my review of A Madden 08 Christmas.) Also, according to Scott's comment, this video was conceptualized as far back as May of 2017, which perfectly ties into him carving a "pumpkin" in July.

    As we jump forward in time to October 29th, Scott tells you it's Halloween, and that he ate an entire f*cking pumpkin - which he could have just carved! Scott prompts you to grab your nearest 3 month old rotten watermelon and cozy up for the tale of Polybius next to a campfire. Truly the best way to experience a spooky story. Shortly after, I get reminded of the existence of the word "humdinger" and I contemplate just giving this episode a 0/10 and moving on to Night Trap (2018). Alas, I push on, and prepare to hear the story of a game that might not even exist. Again. Seriously, who hasn't heard of Polybius in this day and age?

    Scott talks about arcades for a bit, but I think that if you want to hear about what Polybius is, you can just go here and learn about it there. I'll skip ahead to the interesting part here. After his talk about Polybius, Scott's Polybius Alarm™ goes off, which mean there was a Polybius sighting near Old Location McGee! We cut to Scott's other show, Elusive Demonic Arcade Cabinet Chasers, which I'm surem you can infer what they do. On the episode we're seeing today, Scott is hunting down Polybius. He attempts to trap a Polybius with a box, a stick, and a sign saying "free children." That'll end well.

    2 and a half hours later, Scott realizes he's spent 5 minutes too long waiting for Polybius to appear, when he realizes he's caught a wild Polybius - which is a false alarm. After a legally required dramatic piano chord, the camera pans to reveal a Polybius cabinet behind Scott. Scott turns around and is surprisingly unfazed by a demonic arcade cabinet standing behind him. He only starts running in fear when the Polybius cabinet starts walking towards him. As soon as Scott thinks he's safe, he realizes Polybius is right in front of him.

    Scott realizes he's diagnosed with street smarts. Pulling a baseball bat out of the wheat field, he takes the opportunity to use this bat to take out Polybius. The spirit of Polybius is released after he burns Polybius' remains, which he traps in the 3 month old watermelon, which he sells to a thrift shop. The employee questions why they bought a rotten watermelon off of him, so they throw it out into the trash, which presumably releases the spirit of Polybius.

    Final thoughts are: I liked the episode, it was a perfect example of early Scott the Woz episodes, where it was, instead of jokes sprinkled throughout the episode, it was mainly just "Hey all, Scott here!" then some jokes for the start of the episode, then he talks about a thing, and then has a setup to a joke, followed by the color blue. Overall, I'd rate this 6.5/10, only because I'm not a particularly huge fan of the format of Season 1 episodes being joke, content, setup, blue.


At October 21, 2022 at 1:24 PM , Blogger 44Nifty said...

yo this mf spittin


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